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Joke of the Day

"Why did Subway take Jared so seriously? It was obvious he was kidding."

"If a cop sees a black guy crossing the street and a white guy robbing an old lady, who does he shot first? The thief because first duty then plesure"

"For lunch today, I think I will have a blistering hot bowl of ice cold soup. Thanks microwave."

"Why did the ghost go to rehab? He had a problem with boos."

"Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous"

"Google. Filling the gaps in public education."

"My friend and I always fight over the electric drill It can get a little bit heated."

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"Life is about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"Whenever I poke my cat in the eye and he gets squinty, I feel bad and poke him in the other eye, so I can pretend he's just really high."