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Joke of the Day
"Black Friday is when Kim Kardashian shops for a new husband."
Next Joke
"I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."
"What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly? incorrectly"
"Interviewer to me: what is your weakness? I replied : Honesty. Interviewer : But Honesty is not a weakness that's a good thing. I replied: I do not give a fuck what you think."
"A tip for Snowden. Apparently he is traveling all of the world but if you never want to appear in front of an American judge there is only one place to go... Guantanomo bay"
"Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea."
"[At maternity ward] Me: is this where babies are delivered Nurse: Yes Me: You ought to be ashamed. Babies need their livers"
"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."
"What does racist matthew mcconaughey say? alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"
"Donald Trump says he went to the University of Pennsylvania, but I could have sworn he went to Syracuse. Because he sure is an Orange Man."