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Joke of the Day

"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."

"Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass are Red I think my lawn is on Fire"

"I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal."

"Her: How do you get girls? Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works? Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying."

"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"

"What did the snake say to the cornered rat ? Hiss is the end of the line for you !"

"Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mother was in a jam."

"I just found a Macklemore CD in a Thrift Shop and the Universe imploded."

"What's innuendo? It's Italian for ""suppository""."

"""Welcome... To Jurassic Park."" ""But some of these dinosaurs are from the Cretaceous Period--"" ""WE ALREADY MADE THE SIGNS"""