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Joke of the Day

"It's hard to tell jokes to shoreline oceanographers They always take things littorally."

"There are some problems in life that can be solved with chocolate....others require a full clip and a shovel."

"Looking for Texas? Drive east or west on Interstate 70 until you smell shit. Then go south till you run into it"

"(NSFW) Last night I tried to hit the ceiling with my jizz, but just like every night, I was unsuccessful. It was one of my many shortcomings"

"why was the computer late to work? because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)"

"You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best."

"Can I get some of you to sign my Medium open letter ""Hello rude teens, I don't know what memes are but stop doing memes at me!!!""?"

"If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house ""Anyone order a stripper?"" then say ""Sorry, wrong house"" & slam the door shut."

"How did we build a tunnel to china? A jew found a dollar in a hole."

"Teacher: Frd give me a sentence starting with ""I."" Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No Fred. You must always say ""I am."" Fred: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."