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Joke of the Day

"Looking for Texas? Drive east or west on Interstate 70 until you smell shit. Then go south till you run into it"

"Why don't cows simply run away from their farms? Because they don't have enough sta**moo**na"

"My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning."

"A Lawyer walks into a bar Well, technically, he wasn't a lawyer yet..."

"volcano = glory hole for the Gods"

"Tip for new parents: The less you feed 'em, the less they poop."

"Someone stole my catheter... ... they really took the piss."

"What's someone who hates underwear's favorite song? Free Ballin - Foo Fighters"

"We are so fortunate not to live in China,,, they have to hide their posts in cookies."

"Maybe we should be focussing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore."