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Joke of the Day

"Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn't good enough on Idols, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony."

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"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."
"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"
"Why don't dead people sneeze? Because they're too busy coffin."
"I like to stand near people on gluten-free diets and eat as much gluten as I can and say things like ""Mmmm, sweet gluten."""
"My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism So they repossessed her."
"Kanye running for president."
"What happened when Billy Mays's ghost floated into the rave? Everyone started partying like it was $19.99."
"Is your refrigerator running? If so, I'll vote for it."
"Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought."