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Joke of the Day

"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"

"Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's just a little Bigger."

"Firing Victoria of IAMA"

"So I talkedto a gender studies graduate the other day. I told her I wanted a #1 combo with no tomatos or onions."

"Why couldn't I run the Compressed File? I was missing the important Bits."

"The years 2045. 90s kids are old &wrinkly. Grandma tosses seeds to pigeons ""Go insane go insane throw sum glitter make it rain"" she whispers"

"What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart? A knife."

"What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy ? Hoppalong Cassidy !"

"I bet it's crazy hard to do the YMCA dance in Chinese..."

"Say ""No, TWO drugs."""