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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? They got 6 months each."
Next Joke
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder... of someone else, who isn't quite as absent."
"My wife said she's had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up. So I just packed my bags and right."
"If you're not using Social Media to spout your uninformed opinion then you're totally missing the point of the Internet."
"pope: love all *everyone cheers* *he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd* pope: fifteen-love"
"Why should you never date someone with a lazy-eye...? Because you never know if they're seeing someone on the side."
"A young man knocks on the door of his Girlfriend, who lives with her parents... Her dad opens the door. ""Good day, Sir. My name is Tobias, I am here to fuck your daugther."" ""To WHAT??? ""Tobias."""
"Boss: this project is moving along at a snail's pace!! *silence* Todd the snail: This is bullshit *spends 3hrs storming out of meeting*"
"What do you call a weak cup of tea? Subtlety."
"OBSERVATION Boobs are proof to women that men can focus on two things at once"