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Joke of the Day

"Any question is a hard hitting question when it's written on a brick and thrown full force at your face."

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"Last night, during sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move... She was like, ""What the hell are you doing!?"" And I was like, ""Hush baby, I saw this on PornHub....it's called 'buffering'."""
"What for you call a motivated mannequin? Mannecan"
"Can you imagine how awesome sprinkles would be if they tasted like anything?!"
"You know why when geese fly in a V, one side of the V is longer than the other? More geese on that side."
"Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box? She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling ""Lie to me, lie to me!"""
"What do you call an owl who does magic? WHO-DINI"
"Why was six afraid of seven Because seven was a registered six offender"
"How to annoy ISIS Call them Daesh"
"Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%"