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Joke of the Day

"I hang out with people smarter than me so when the zombies attack they will eat their brains first while I escape. Who's the idiot now Mom!?"

"In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex."

"How did the scarecrow win a noble prize? He was *out standing* in his field."

"""The N stands for number so no need to say 'PIN number'. ""Terribly sorry, I'll start again: 'You're dead if you don't give me your PIN'."

"Why are Omegle and Chatroulette great dating sites? Because they have plenty of members."

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar"

"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"I plan on starting a geek rap band... I think I'll call it Run-D.L.L."

"Clickbait... ... it works everytime!"

"And for his much awaited stunt, Ku Klux Knievel will attempt to jump 50 bIack kids with a steamroller."