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Joke of the Day

"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"What is a prime way of knowing when a retard is thirsty? He'll have water on the brain."

"What would be a more appropriate name for spiderman? Peter parkour."

"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

"If I was an Oreo, how would you eat me? Wrong. It's a trick question. People can't be Oreos."

"I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you, Smiling You know what's coming next.. It's your turn to do the laundry"

"Took my 3 year old to a lot of historic sites and whale watching today. Asked what her favourite part was and she said, ""The M&M's""."

"The penis mightier than the sword. haha penis."

"I took one of those online IQ tests ... And got a 404. I'm a super genius!"

"Russian Cosmonauts have been banned from telling jokes on the Interational Space Station... ... because they always involve Mir puns."