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Joke of the Day

"In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex."

"What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by? Pull down his pants."

"What's the difference between a girl with herpes and a leather shoe? If you had to, you could eat the leather shoe."

"Uber driver: ""I'm close, where are you?"" Me: ""oh I see you"" Uber Driver: ""Are you the guy in the middle of the road?"" Me: ""yeah floor it"""

"Joke What's the difference between a dick and an ass? I don't know, but your mom seems to enjoy the combination of both."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, dang it! BREATHE!"

"What's the difference between r/circlejerk and r/The_Donald? No really. What is it?"

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!"

"Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they're two-tired."

"Two Irish men walk into a bar... You would have thought at least one of them would have seen it."