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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise."

"What did one candle say to the other? ""Don't birthdays burn you up?"""

"I once met a man from Nantucket... I don't know the rest, so fuck it."

"Next to a lie, a pun is the lowest form of creation."

"Was out on the golf course and shot an eagle at Hole 9. Mom doesn't believe me, but wait till she sees the eagle."

"I miss my friend Jack... I loved to listen to music with him."

"Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix? There's only one nut in the bag."

"[party in 1939] teen: truth or dare hitler: dare teen: dare you to invade poland hitler: omg no way u guys all the teens: DO IT DO IT"

"Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours."

"I was trying to help my blonde neighbour park her trailered boat in her driveway. Go ahead, back up, I kept saying...it took over 2 hours."