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Joke of the Day

"Every time I go to get an HIV test, I'm convinced it's going to come back positive And every time, I'm right."

"I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet."

"What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground."

"I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me"

"this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight"

"Daughter: You're invading my personal space Mom: You came out of my personal space"

"To all my haters. First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger."

"Chasing away everyone who's ever tried to get close to you is a great way to save money on Christmas shopping."

"The king splits his kingdom for his three sons... -F**k yeah, said the Fourth Son"

"I saw a sign the other day the made me fucking piss my pants... ...it said ""Bathroom Closed"""