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Joke of the Day

"this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic KKK member? He went around killing gingers."

"I don't have any of friends to share my video game screenshots with... Because I play video games."

"How many nuts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian"

"[Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah."

"I tried to write with my broken pencil today it was pointless"

"What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars? Ones green and the other is black"

"A Thursday night ""Just got Paroled!"" party down the street! Wooooo! HELL YEAH!! I'm gunna wear my best knife for this one y'all!"

"Knock, knock. Honey, have you finished taking pictures of yourself for facebook? Daddy needs to take a sh!t.."

"If you yawn when you're alone it's because there's a ghost in the room and he yawned first."