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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman says, ""Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"""

Next Joke
 
"Guy hears his grand kids are coming for the first time. He gets all the parts and gear, spent six hours child-proofing his home. They still got in."
"Went out for drinks with my tinder date... She ordered the angel shot with lime :("
"Let your girlfriend know how much you love her by screeching loudly like a pterodactyl whenever she talks."
"Theres a new drug on the market designed for lesbians suffering from depression.... ""Trycoxagen"""
"Doctor, Doctor... I have a steering wheel in my pants. It's driving me nuts!"
"If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books."
"All the guys here in San Francisco are super nice. They keep asking if they can push my stool in. Even when I'm already sitting down or there are no chairs around."
"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already screwed in! heh. *chirp* *chirp*"
"A grizzly walks in to a bar and orders a beer. The bartended asks ""hey you 21?"" ""Bearly"""