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Joke of the Day

"If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books."

"Today I got bored and went to a seafood restaurant... [OC- would like opinions] Just for the halibut."

"I never learnt the meaning of the word truancy... ...I wasn't at school that day."

"Her: Something's changed in here. Me: I put a new bulb in. Her: Well it's not very bright Bulb: Okay wow I'm like right here."

"I've heard that 1 in 3 people have a pedophile as a neighbour. But that can't be right because my neighbours are sexy 5 and 7 year olds."

"My brother used to think the suicide lane is for committing suicide. He only made the mistake once though"

"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"

"I Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... not on my watch."

"Women is born with two vaginas The parents and the doctor thought it was a miracle until poop came out of the second one"

"China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means, Even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you."