177808

Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness."

"How do you know when to use ""fridge"" or ""refrigerator""? Open it, if there's a 'd' in it, it's a fridge."

"My wife and I swapped biscuits. I guess you could say we switched rolls."

"What is the difference between a black person and a tire? The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains."

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a birth certificate? A birth certificate states the sex."

"Sometimes I zone out and forget what I'm supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer."

"A man goes to the doctors for a physical. The doctor says ""you have to stop masturbating"" The man replies ""why?"" The doctor responds ""because I'm trying to give you a physical"""

"Did you know that God is rich? Yeah, back in Israel he made a prophet."

"""What about this? What about this? And this?""--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer."

"Be the person your dog thinks you are. A gentle lover."