154515

Joke of the Day

"Be the person your dog thinks you are. A gentle lover."

"The problem with girl scout cookies: no matter how many I eat, I always want Samoa."

"Solipsism Everything I know about solipsism without looking it up is all there is to know about solipsism."

"Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored? A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned."

"I called my friend in North Korea and asked how he was. He said he couldn't complain."

"2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba dum tss EDIT: spelling"

"If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? No. The universe uses lossy compression."

"Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions? I do."

"So the batteries in my flashlight ran out... You'd think I'd be sad, but really I was delighted."

"New Years Resolution My New Years Resolution is to try 100 brand new things. How many chemicals are crack? Lets get this done in one sitting."