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Joke of the Day

"Be the person your dog thinks you are. A gentle lover."

"I don't like jam but my marmite Note : Girlfriend was determined this was a good joke, I thought it was trash. You decide."

"I, for one, completely agree with Hitler's plan... ...to kill himself. ____________________________________ Besides, if it wasn't for Hitler, who else would we compare our enemies to?"

"A Leaf and an Emo Person Both Fall From a Tree. What lands first? The leaf, a rope stopped the emo."

"I don't always take the derivative of x^2.... But when I do, it's dos equis."

"What do pirates do on Saturdays? They go to Y'arrgggghhh sales."

"What's the most important part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"So, I was sitting on a train across from a beautiful Thai girl. And all I could think was ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" And then she did."

"Garry Glitter gave me my first guitar lesson the other day He showed me how to finger A minor"

"My inability to proofread increases by 1000% after I press send. Danmit"