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Joke of the Day
"When Gordon Ramsay saw a cute puppy gif on Reddit, why did he get mad? Because it was /r/aww"
Next Joke
"If Beethoven's music had base in it... He would be basethoven."
"IF YOU KIDS DON'T COME BACK TO THIS TABLE AND FINISH YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WILL SIGH HEAVILY, EAT IT MYSELF AND GAIN 3 POUNDS."
"oh, so now star wars is the best thing you've ever seen, is it? ""yes, and?"" so you've forgotten about the time we saw a snake wearing a hat?"
"How do they dance in Arabia? Sheik-to-sheik (cheek)."
"""Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?"" Making people guess the meaning of acronyms."
"What's the difference between Martin Luther King and Donald Trump? Martin Luther King had a dream and Donald Trump is a nightmare."
"John Madden just died from a heart attack what, you thought this was a joke? the guy's fat and old."
"As I was leaving the club last night . . . . . . A male stripper suggestively swiveled his banana hammock in my direction. I'm flattered, but it was still kind of a dick move."
"I walked in on two mummies making out. I told them to get a tomb."