190577

Joke of the Day

"John: ""I'm a man of few words."" Bill: ""I'm married too."""

"What has a million and one legs but still can't walk? Jerry's kids."

"I'm 89% certain I'm technically still dating at least 3 women from the late 90's early 2000's cause I left for beer and never came back"

"Calm down check out guy, you don't have to inspect my $20 so hard, If I was talented enough to make my own, I wouldn't be in Quickie Mart.."

"I bet cats are pissed at dogs because their name only anagrams to ""tac"""

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb. One, but the light bulb has to really want to change."

"Why did the prevert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chickens ass"

"Why didn't the blond call 911? She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad."

"Saw a really attractive woman the other day... She was wearing a miniskirt and a really low-cut shirt and I kept thinking to myself, ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" She did...."

"A roman centurion walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The barkeeper looks at him and says ""mate, don't you mean a martini?"" The centurio answers ""if i wanted a double i would've ordered it!"""