185440

Joke of the Day

"My medical insurance plan is so bad that I'm not allowed to see my doctor. He just reads my Twitter and adjusts my medications."

"You know the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day? On St. Patrick's day, everyone wants to be Irish."

"Why did the virus get a ticket? Because he was driving under the influenza......"

"Officer, I swear there is a simple explanation.. ~me standing in the street with no pants, one sock and a turkey baster in my hand"

"Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'"

"Benjamin Button Started off dead Violets are blue Roses are red"

"How do you stop all the protests and riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down"

"What do people call their grandmother in India? Naana"

"An actor was fired from a movie for being a cocaine addict. He kept blowing his lines."

"My sister-in-law had a miscarriage Does that raise or lower her kill-death ratio?"