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Joke of the Day

"David Hume's 'Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion' was published after his death, or in other words... it was published posthumeously."

"Your mom.. has one arm, one leg, one titty, one eye, and one finger. They call her ""Uno"". Ironically enough, she also works at Ihop..."

"A chickpea goes to a liberal arts college... What's its major? Falafelphy"

"Am I in a safe neighborhood? I only see 2 stores that exclusively sell lacrosse equipment."

"Why don't Barbie and Ken have kids? Ken came in a different box."

"To make a mistake is human. To admit a mistake is stupid."

"Today on ""Dora the Explorer"", Dora and Boots learn there are some places they can't explore when Map leads them to an armed border patrol."

"Coffee shop barista thinks I look homeless because I'm fashionable. Joke's on her. I look homeless because I'm lazy."

"Are you guys all right? No, you're all left. (Stolen from a master comedian from x factor)"

"me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends"