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Joke of the Day

"Metro don't trust trump. Future gon' shoot him."

"Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got hung up on the boards."

"Why did the cat give birth at the park? Because the sign at the park said ""Fine for Littering"""

"What does Happy Meal and a lonely girl have in common? They both come with a toy in the box."

"Sometimes people suck the life out of me like there's a prize at the bottom."

"A Facebook friend just used the same number of exclamation points to say he's eating guacamole as he did to announce the birth of his kid."

"My penis is a gentleman ... It stands up so ladies have a place to sit down."

"no actually it's called an ""african-american"" eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct"

"What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business? A Pte-redact-yl"

"Why are the nordic countries the best countries to live in? Their flags are big plusses."