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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor stopped by to tell me my dogs had been chasing people on bicycles Bull shit, my dogs don't even have bicycles!"

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks ""olive 'er twist?"""

"Want to hear about the worst blowjob I ever had? It was awesome"

"Q: What do call a fish with no eye? A: A fsh."

"By 98 to 1, U.S. Senate passes amendment saying climate change is real, not a hoax."

"What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus? An ambulance you racist bastard"

"What do you call 2 fat people talking? A heavy discussion"

"""Do you think I could sell this couch on Craigsface?"" --Grandma"

"I didn't sleep a wink last night because my neighbor was screaming her head off. I think she doesn't like my basement."

"Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort) Lady Astor said to Churchill, ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea,"" to which he responded, ""Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"""