94761

Joke of the Day

"""Do you think I could sell this couch on Craigsface?"" --Grandma"

"I'm not sure if my foots been asleep for the last 3 days or if I have diabetes."

"Did you hear about the guy who took his suppositories orally? He said, ""For all the good these are doing me, I may as well shove 'em up my ass!"""

"How many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? A lot, because they're fucking stupid."

"Someone calls 911... Man : Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Man : Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Man : The ugly one is winning."

"Two ninjas walk into a bar. Or do they?"

"What do you call Professor X doing a wheelie? Professor + I'm sorry. lol."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween."

"Whoever decided on spelling ""biscuit"" really needs to get their shuit together."

"Tried to find a joke about impared ejaculation But it just won't cum"