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Joke of the Day

"I don't eat cats and dogs. Dogs are cute and I'm allergic to cats. *my lawyer leans in and whispers in my ear* Cats are also cute."

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"Why is the ocean salty? Because land doesn't wave back."
"A woman always gets the last word in an argument, because anything a man says after that is the first words in a new argument."
"What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time? A meander-thal!"
"are everyone all al'right no! you are all al'left"
"Shoutout to that one time I confused narcolepsy and necrophilia during a job interview."
"If a tree falls down in the woods.. If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody's around to react to it, do the Fine Bro's still submit a copyright claim?"
"Did you hear the joke about the two monsters who crashed? They fell off a cliff boom boom."
"Scientist: a rat will choose cocaine over water until it dies. I've repeated this experiment thousands of times, because I hate rats so much"
"Life without women Would be a pain in the ass"