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Joke of the Day

"For Sale: Golden Retriever, Had for 9 months has yet to retrieve any gold. Should just bought metal detector! Unbelievable."

"are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?"

"Count Chocula cereal is the perfect combination of breakfast and fear."

"My kids are so aware that I'm a bad driver that if I start the car before they have their seatbelts on, they cry."

"I'm always careful with women that do not speak to me even after the 4th date."

"The difference between a tea bag and England The tea bag stays longer in the cup."

"Ford should create an 8-cylinder Fusion model It would be a V8 Fusion"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake? Because she had one heck of an ex-goose"

"Her: Is breakfast almost ready? Me: Yeah, I just have to drain the sausage. Her: Can't we please wait till after breakfast for that?"