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Joke of the Day

"Nestle has taken to putting ""Do not consume raw cookie dough"" on all of it's cookie packages Oh, Nestle You don't know me at all, do you?"

"*Slides down your chimney* *Straightens all your pictures*"

"I am having an out of money experience."

"Did you hear about the ointment... Did you hear about the ointment that couldn't stop talking about politics? When confronted, he said he was just trying to be topical."

"*waiter pouring wine* Say when sir *wine slowly fills up the restaurant*"

"Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours."

"Which number confuses people? 82"

"Why do blind people always laugh at jokes? Same as why they don't drive. They never see it comming."

"A SQL statement walks into a bar... he confidently walks up to a couple of tables and says, ""May I join you?""."

"How did Hitler react to the fall of Berlin? He did Nazi-it coming."