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Joke of the Day
"You know who'd make a good hobbit? Elijah would."
Next Joke
"What do you call a super cool assassin? A badassassin."
"My wife has been mad at me lately because she says I need to get my priorities straight... I told her we can talk about it after this episode of Spongebob."
"Best part about staying up late = total absence of morning people."
"You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it's acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch."
"Know who I really admire? Stephen Hawkins. He is confined to a wheelchair, cannot use his limbs or his voice... ...yet he carries on without making a song and dance about it."
"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says... ""Does this guy taste funny to you?"""
"If I were a movie villain I'd make a bomb where the wires are all one color."
"How do you get gum out of hair? cancer -I'm sorry-"
"""Sir how did you survive the snowmageddon?"" ""I stayed in"" ""Oh"""