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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Jew and a truck? The truck doesn't scream when you pump gas into it."

"Q: What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous? A: Shark infested mashed potatoes."

"So I was having sex with a crazy girl. I was fucking insane ..."

"Why did the Founding Fathers hire accountants from Prague? They needed a system of Czechs and balances."

"Why did Donald Trump win the Republican nomination? Don Rickles is dead."

"I want my funeral to be 20 consecutive moments of silence followed by a first-time bugler playing taps."

".@cocacola i tried to give a coke bottle to a polar bear. he did not accept. also he took my son. i need my son back"

"My wife said I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway."

"When I first got my student loans, I thought they were great. Now, they're outstanding!"