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Joke of the Day

"I hurt my back while cutting down a tree. Guess you could say I have lumber problems."

"What do you call a rhetorical fish? Sharkasm."

"If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films."

"What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ? Worm your way out of that one !"

"Person: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Me: I understand. *I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn't fed me*"

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA."

"Genetic link to male ageing and stress found in the XX sex chromosome. Hopefully it translates well enough into english."

"Why did sodium stay home all day? Because when helium invited sodium and potassium to the mall, potassium said *K* but all sodium could say was *Na*."

"LPT: Masturbate before texting your Ex. It'll make you cum to your senses."