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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a rhetorical fish? Sharkasm."

"Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like ""the light is red!"" and ""don't text and drive!"" and ""oh god, I think that was a person!"""

"An atom is mugged by another atom... A bystander asks if he's OK. ""I think he got away with my favorite electron,"" he answered. ""Oh no! Are you sure?"" ""Yup, I'm positive."""

"Why should optometrists never tell jokes? Because they're too cornea."

"My girlfriend's at home tonight, baking. So hopefully the police don't look in the oven and find her."

"""Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."""

"I have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life if I die next thursday"

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking."

"SEE IF you can ""unscramble"" the name of this important American from yesteryear in under 10 min: AABRHAM LONCLIN. Go!"

"How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping? An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel."