177092

Joke of the Day

"What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2"" Mexican have in common? They're both short essays."

"PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you? DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy"

"I really enjoyed reading the Diary of Anne Frank Although I was disappointed it ended rather abruptly"

"What did the athletic trainer say to the body builder who was allergic to protein powder? ""No whey."""

"I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it."

"All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi."

"If someone is cramping your style, Tell they, go masturbate elsewhere you pedophile!"

"If four out of five people suffer from radiation poisoning... Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?"

"A news reporter was interviewing a man... who was a witness to a public masturbation incident. When asked why he did nothing to stop the perpetrator the man replied, ""Well, he had it coming."""

"Former police officers are offering their services to appear in court for you. It's a form of copper recycling."