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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when a box kotex catches on fire? throw it on the ground and tampon it."

"I gave up and ""folded"" the fitted sheet into a rope so I could shimmy down from the 3rd floor to escape folding laundry."

"What does tofu have in common with a Dildo? They are both meat substitutes."

"I hate when I shoot someone with finger pistols but I forgot to take the safety off so nothing happened and NOW IT'S SO AWKWARD :("

"I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind"

"Trump didn't lie when he said Mexico was going to pay for the wall... by securing his win, Mexico will start building to keep the Americans out of their country."

"Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually agents will screw in just about anything."

"shoutout to social anxiety but very quietly and while no one is looking"

"I want a romantic comedy trailer that starts, ""Ben was looking for love in all the wrong places,"" and then shows Ben digging up a grave."

"You ever click a link thinking you're going to get a free iPad, but all you get is a million emails? No? Yeah, me either."