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Joke of the Day

"I gave up and ""folded"" the fitted sheet into a rope so I could shimmy down from the 3rd floor to escape folding laundry."

"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg"

"What is a Skeletons porn-star name? Mr.Boner *edit I give this partial credit to that guy that sells meth on the street he-he."

"A black guy walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender then says ""Well that's special, where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" says the parrot"

"Our breakfast is GEGS. Scrambled EGGS"

"I found a new passion yesterday pairing socks. I guess I just enjoy bringing sole mates together."

"Researchers say men are 3 times more likely to be the first to say ""I love you"", than women. In our defence, ladies, we don't mean it"

"I got in trouble with a band recently... when I had the audacity to edit their music."

"How to you circumcise a catholic boy? Kick the priest in the jaw!"

"""Pick a card, any card, make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest"": me, with my wife at the Hallmark Store on Valentine's Day"