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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I shoot someone with finger pistols but I forgot to take the safety off so nothing happened and NOW IT'S SO AWKWARD :("

"""Is there a Mrs. Prime?"" -- EVERY GIRL TRANSFORMER EVER, I MEAN LOOK AT HIM"

"My local newspaper is running an innuendo competition. I might enter my sister."

"When Chris Angle levitated in front of Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris just laughed and flew away."

"What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house? This place feels earie."

"What do you call a huge ugly slobbering furry monster with cotton wool in his ears? Anything you like ? he can't hear you."

"I once met a girl with 3 boobs Everyone called her triceratits"

"Sarah McLachlan should do a commercial but instead of homeless pets in cages, people in cubicles."

"How do you know when a woman is about to say some thing intelligent? She starts her sentance with ""A man once told me"""

"What does Mike Tyson eat after a long time on twitter? Tweets of course! ....and then your family."