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Joke of the Day

"This joke is the world most peaceful joke... Don't worry. It doesn't even have a punchline."

"LPT: For those of you that always feel the need to click on every link (and end up wasting a lot of time on the internet).. ...gotcha."

"What did one diabetic say to the other diabetic, on their blind date? I'm sorry, but you're just not my type."

"Kind of sad that old people, who have the least amount of time left, are the ones wasting the most time typing in ""http://www."""

"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike."

"I am AWFUL at picking up if a woman is into me. Even if one said, ""I want to do you."" I'd respond, ""What do you mean? Like an impression?"""

"Lots of hockey tweets, sadly I'm from Alabama where a bunch of white guys chasing something black with sticks has a whole different meaning."

"Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer? He was charged for murder within tents."

"A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing."

"My boss said ""You're the worst fucking train driver ever,"" ""How many trains have you derailed to date?"" I replied ""It's hard to keep track."""