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Joke of the Day

"A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing."

"[Sees restaurant is packed] *Pays hostess $20 to read note* ""Attn patrons there is a vintage yard sale across the street"" *Hipsters clear*"

"What's the most obvious name you can give a Panda? Pan, duh!"

"Talking Dirty What did the Italian wife say during sex? Pasta, pasta! What did the Indian wife say during sex? Curry, curry!"

"I saw an amateur ventriloquist the other night. The performance was a little wooden."

"2 pedophiles are sitting on a bench and a 12-year-old girl runs by... One turns to the other and says, ""Man, I bet she used to be really hot!"""

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."

"Farmer Brown put up a pig-shaped weather vane but he's not happy with it. Instead of pointing with the wind the pig vane keeps pointing toward the feed trough."

"Your gene pool could use a little chlorine."

"Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ""Dam."""