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Joke of the Day

"I named my first dog ""What"". Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked ""What is the name of your first pet?"" and I kept answering ""Yes."""

"Me *about to get hit by a bus* OH SHIT I'M NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER"

"Someone accused my dad of stealing from his job in the roads department... ...I thought it was nothing to worry about but when I got home the signs were everywhere."

"What's a Jewish dilemma? Free bacon. Let the downvotes rain down on me."

"What did the grape say when she let her kids play in the sun to long? I hate raisin kids!"

"Celebrities are called stars because they're hot, not very bright, unattainable and destined to eventually collapse into a black hole."

"This Post just says it all! It all."

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Hello Jack."

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil."