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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that trampolines used to actually be called jumpolines? That is, until 1982 when your mom got on one."

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"What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!"
"Americans should be asking Santa for better presidential candidates and nothing else."
"The other day a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."
"How amazing is Michael Phelps? He's got like a Brazilian Medals."
"I'm having second thoughts about booking time to visit an Indian community. I guess I'm having reservation reservation reservations."
"His Holiness the Dalai Lama invited you to play Candy Crush."
"Newt Gingrich is the result of leaving a bobble head doll by a radioactive power plant."
"Playing that 'Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?' song on your iPhone, full blast while entering a public toilet stall, feels pretty good."
"what do you call a baby donkey in spanish? a burrito."