176869

Joke of the Day

"I had a gay friend in high school... ...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable."

"Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick."

"How many eggs did Kelly Clarkson eat for Easter? All of them. (It's timely if not funny, right?)"

"Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist? Because they won't believe it."

"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"

"A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste..."

"A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean...... Both crews were marooned"

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch? Paddy O'Furniture"

"What if the light we see at the end of the tunnel when we die is really Us just being pushed out of a vagina into our next life?"

"Kind of sad that old people, who have the least amount of time left, are the ones wasting the most time typing in ""http://www."""