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Joke of the Day

"""You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping"" is the title of my autobiography."

"If mental hospitals had walkways... They'd be called psychopaths."

"What's blue and smells like red painting? Blue painting"

"What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies? A well educated Barista"

"to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other"

"Why did Han go out Black Friday shopping.? ... because the prices were Solo"

"my girlfriend folded the corner on a page of my new book, rather than use a bookmark. so i gently folded her credit card, until it snapped."

"What does Hitler and Barney Stinson have in common? They are both legend... wait for it ...aryan"

"Why did the Redditors like when a tornado hit a fence? There was a lot of reposting to do"

"Batman prank calls Spider-Man... Batman asks, ""Is uncle Ben home?"" Spider-Man says, ""No! He is at the theater with your parents!"""