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Joke of the Day
"Why does Caterpie like Margarine? Because it's Butterfree."
Next Joke
"Which pirate makes the best food? Captain Cook."
"If you ever fart in public, just yell, ""Turbo power!"" and walk faster"
"Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!"
"I read my kids a few select Facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, ""This is why we have to stay in school"""
"The expression should be ""seeing things eyes to eyes"". Otherwise you're suggesting a meeting of the minds between Cyclops"
"All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt"
"""Mommy, Mommy - I hate walking around in circles!"" ""Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor..."""
"Just saw a doctor eating an apple. My whole life is a lie."
"What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates? I'll be goddamned."