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Joke of the Day

"Gave my blind mate a cheese grater the other day... He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he saw the gas bill"

"Oh, no! I only have fish eggs for dinner again! Roe is me!"

"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? Simple! He just worked it out with a pencil!"

"I'm uncomfortable with abortion. It gives me cramps."

"Where do suicide bombers go where they die? Everywhere."

"When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask ""Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?"" because you can never be too careful."

"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronouce unionized"

"What do you call an atheist cartoon? Fedora the explorer"

"What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city? A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)"