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Joke of the Day

"My wife fave birth to our daughter yesterday. She was born with jaundice So there she was - small round and yellow. We called her *melon*-y"

"My favorite book as a child was... ...'I Fell Off Mt Everest' by Eileen Dover."

"Every time student loan rates double, the price of solo cups should get cut in half."

"""Bones?"" I said. ""Is that you?"" ""In the flesh"", it replied."

"What does the earth say to the moon during a solar eclipse? ""OOh, that's perfect right there. Just stay right there... Dude?..Alright, whatever... This side of the moons a dick."""

"What do Alexander Skarsgard and Ikea have in common? Swedish meatballs"

"A history professor was given a boring lecture about Russian dictators Finally, an exasperated student exclaimed,""stop, you're putin me to sleep"""

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I supposedly"" take things too far"" So I called the police."

"If the fortune has turned her back on you, you can do whatever you want behind her back."

"Donald Trump doesn't play in the stock market. He prefers Junk Blondes."