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Joke of the Day
"What do Alexander Skarsgard and Ikea have in common? Swedish meatballs"
Next Joke
"Before you bludgeon to death that drifter who broke into your apartment and passed out on your futon, ask yourself: when did I buy a futon?"
"Why should you never hire a Jewish plumber? They all seem to get a bit weird around showers."
"Just ate my toothbrush to clean those hard-to-reach places."
"Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law"
"Why does Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house, that's in a black neighborhood."
"Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months."
"Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way."
"What dance moves do physicists do? the torque"
"Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean Voila Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten Ah quiet"