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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport? Because its a band substance"
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"Wanna feel old? Helium formed for the first time 13.8 billions years ago."
"Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I'm not an idiot and I know how time travel works."
"I was the photographer at a vegan wedding this weekend They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese."
"How many people who subscribed to r/The_Donald does it take to screw in a light bulb? Obviously more than one because it's still dark in their mother's basement."
"Yo mama's so fat Her nose can't even run Came up with this myself and was quite proud"
"[NSFW] I met a girl called Michelle at a bar... Her: Hi, I am Michelle Me: I am Donaldson, but people sometimes call me Dick. Her: How do you get Dick from Donaldson? Me: You ask nicely."
"My Jewish friend told me about Krav Maga.... To which I replied ""is that some sort of a legal term?"""
"I had a good Jeremy Clarkson joke... But I forgot the punchline... Then it hit me!"
"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."