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Joke of the Day

"Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry."

"Researchers say men are 3 times more likely to be the first to say ""I love you"", than women. In our defence, ladies, we don't mean it"

"Did you hear about the actress who died? SO: ""Did you hear about that actress who died? Reese...Reese..? Me: ""Witherspoon?"" SO: ""No. With a knife."" Me: ""..."" Legitimate laughter ensued."

"StubHub should really be a place where single amputees meet."

"What do you do with a scientist after he dies? Barium"

"Play-Doh is a wonderful way to teach your children that colorful things will lie to you about their taste."

"Big shoutout to my great grandmother She can't hear me otherwise"

"why does Wally wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted."

"What is the difference between a feminist and a walrus? A walrus has at least two valid points."

"What do you call a girl who's sitting in the middle of a tennis court? Annette."