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Joke of the Day
"Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour? They're in Greenwich Mean Time."
Next Joke
"Next season on Game of Thrones they're actually going to come to your house and start killing the people watching."
"[if my cat tweeted] When ""over 38"" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone."
"Whats E.T.'s first name? Yodela"
"I was people would stop asking where I see myself in 5 years... I don't have 2020 vision"
"Why are Redditors naturally great at swordfighting? They practice riposting all the time."
"Usain Bolt isn't allowed near any elementary schools. The speed limit is only 40 kph!"
"Guy finds secret trick into heaven... Gods hate him"
"I almost got raped in jail ... My family takes monopoly way too seriously."
"Did you know love doesn't matter? It doesn't have mass and doesn't occupy space."